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Choose your battles wisely. After all, life isn't measured by how many times you stood up to fight. It's not winning battles that makes you happy, but it's how many times you turned away and chose to look into a better direction. Life is too short to spend it on warring. Fight only the most, most, most important ones, let the rest go.

I’m not going to be this girl anymore.

I’m not going to be this girl anymore.

         This night is one of those nights when you feel like going back to the past. When you can’t help but reminisce the old times… remembering who you was, what you were, the things that used to define you and the people who used to be there for you. This night is the night when you can’t help but think what should have been, what if and what should be.

          Not until tonight I realized how good it felt back then to be stupid, young and in love. How I miss being that person who is ready to take all the shitty things just to get the best of everything. I was strong, independent and so full of everything. Not until I lost myself I’ve realized that I was the person that I was yearning for after all of those years. I know sooner or later I will drop this little façade of mine- being cold, distant, serious, passive and pessimistic. I’m keeping myself from being hurt again from the rejections, disappointments and heartaches. The walls that I’ve build around myself might protect me from other people but it does not keep me from hurting myself. I always find myself so close to admitting that I need love…. And now, I have come to admit my defeat. I need love and love is nothing without pain and pain is inevitable. We need to get hurt every once in a while for us to grow. Denying these things only got me to nowhere. I’ve reached the point where nothing is good enough for me. I was hardly satisfied with everything that I have and I am like that because unconsciously, I was looking for my old self, I was looking for the feelings that I used to feel. I was looking for the things that I was keeping myself from.

 After months of feeling empty, broken and lost… I’m now ready to build myself again from the pieces left behind.